Question for littles

[FlawdaGuy]

What things about littlespace do you think is important for caregivers to understand that they might not already as a caregiver or someone that wants to become one?

[PNW-GentleDaddy]

This is a good question! And I too want to know more, would some of you littles here mind chiming in? 

[mossypixie]

So- I don’t know what some caregivers do or don’t know so I will speak on my own personal experience with caregivers and what I had to teach them about MY little space. So take all of this with a grain of salt 🧂 

little space isn’t what you see online, the sippy cups, the onesies, a mountain of stuffies, the paci, the “little” activities like coloring or putting on that one cartoon you found comfort in back when you were actually a child and not regressed to that mindset

its trauma. Little space and age regression is a trauma response and while the above things mentioned are all ways of coping with that trauma they are band aids. Temporary relief from the larger issue. If your little regresses to their little space of course do what you can to make them feel comfortable and if that means giving them a bottle filled with milk or apple juice, changing them into that one super cute onesie, surrounding them in plushies and throwing that huge soft blanket around them and cuddling up to watch Bluey for the 10000 time then do that! But remember too that something triggered that regression at some point you need to have that conversation with them about what triggered them to regress

And really listen, the answer might be “nothing” or “I don’t know” and those are valid! Trauma is complex and sometimes you don’t know or you can’t find the words to explain it so the most simple answer is to shrug and say “nothing” that doesn’t mean they don’t want to share or are keeping it from you on purpose sometimes that’s the genuine answer and while it might not help you out as the caregiver per say at least you can take comfort in that you didn’t tigger them, the conversation, the situation, the place. It didn’t trigger them. And maybe one day they can find the words to explain those times

if they say something else like “it was too loud” or “you seemed angry” those are also valid, and also don’t make you as the caregiver a bad person. It’s a learning opportunity for you as the caregiver. Now you know whatever situation you were in or place was too loud. Or that perhaps you should be a bit more careful with your tone and how you say certain things. We all grow and learn each and every day. No one is perfect 

 

So maybe the caregivers, daddies, doms, whatever you want to call yourselves already know this, but for those who didn’t. I hope you learned something. Be kind, be patient, be understanding. We are all humans
 

[Rubie]

I agree word for word with mossypixie and I would like to add that for me personally the little space is a safe space where I get to be soft and free to be in my most genuine and vulnerable self, where I get to simplify responsibilities and have it easier to get through tough times. It’s not always cute and childish, sometimes it’s about comfort and feeling more connected to myself and others. A way to ease my mind and let go trusting someone to be there for me. Someone to trust and bond with, as im still learning bout a lot of things in this community and how similar yet different we experience this dynamic—🫧

Edited 1 hour ago by Rubie