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Everything posted by Princess snuggles
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Hi š I'd love to chat and get to know each other, if you'd like to? š
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A discussion I came across recently got me thinking about labels and the way we use them within CGL/DDLG, and I wanted to share something Iāve learnt while exploring my own sexuality. Labels are supposed to support us in understanding and expressing ourselves, not limit us. That doesnāt mean labels donāt have meanings, of course they do, otherwise they wouldnāt be particularly useful! Shared terminology can help us communicate our experiences, find people with similar experiences and understand each other. But I also think there has to be room for nuance. Itās okay if the way you experience or interact with a label is slightly different from how somebody else understands or experiences that same label. People are complicated. Our experiences can overlap, change, and donāt always fit neatly into separate boxes. You donāt have to perfectly match somebody elseās definition of a little, middle, submissive, ageplayer, age regressor, or anything else in order for your experiences to be real. I think thereās a difference between helping somebody understand what terminology generally means and telling somebody that their own lived experience cannot exist because it doesnāt fit perfectly within our understanding of that terminology. Just like clothing labels should fit us, we shouldnāt squash ourselves to fit within someone elseās overly rigid understanding of a label. Labels are tools for describing ourselves, not rules for deciding whether weāre allowed to be ourselves. Weāre all constantly learning - myself included - so I hope we can approach each otherās experiences with curiosity and kindness rather than immediately deciding somebody else must be wrong. Sending love, and remember youāre amazing! š
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TRIGGER WARNING - CSA is discussed within this. Also sorry it's so long but I had a lot to say. I know Iām a little late to this discussion, but Iāve just come across this thread and wanted to add another perspective. Firstly, I do agree with some of what youāve said. Age regression and ageplay arenāt synonymous, ageplay doesnāt have to be sexual, and I think understanding terminology within CGL/BDSM is important. However, I disagree quite strongly with some of the absolutes being presented here, and particularly with the way people who understand or experience these things differently have been spoken about. Weāre all constantly learning. BDSM is a huge community containing people with different experiences, levels of knowledge and interpretations of terminology. If we believe somebody has misunderstood something, I think we should try to explain why, provide information and have a conversation. Calling people stupid, fake, telling them to ādo your fucking researchā, or asking whether theyāre ācomprehendingā doesnāt educate anyone. It puts peopleās backs up and makes people less comfortable asking questions, which is the opposite of what I think we should want within a community where communication, education, consent and safety matter so much. Someone not knowing something doesnāt make them fake. Someone having an experience which differs from yours doesnāt make them fake either. Your experience can be completely genuine while also being vastly different from mine. I also donāt understand where the rigid age categories for babies/littles/middles are coming from. There absolutely are commonly understood differences between those terms, but there isnāt one universally agreed set of numerical boundaries. Even within this thread, examples have been given of different CGL resources using different age ranges. If someone personally defines their little space as 4, 8, 10, etc., thatās useful information about how they experience it, but I donāt think any of us has the authority to declare one exact set of age brackets universally correct and everybody using another definition fake. Community terminology develops through community use; it isnāt a diagnostic classification system with an official governing body. The same applies to āadult littleā. An adult little is still an adult. The term doesnāt mean somebody is claiming to literally be a child; if anything, explicitly saying adult little makes their chronological adulthood particularly clear. I do agree that age regression and ageplay should not simply be treated as interchangeable, though. I experience both, and theyāre different experiences for me. Iāve experienced both involuntary and voluntary regression. My involuntary regression began in childhood and has been recognised and discussed in therapy. Iāve also experienced voluntary regression as an adult, and separately I engage in ageplay. Sometimes those experiences can overlap, but that doesnāt make them the same thing. I also want to gently challenge the absolute statement that a ārealā age regressor can never experience sexuality while regressed. Iām mentioning this particularly because somebody else who experiences an overlap may eventually read this thread, and I donāt want them coming away believing theyāre fake, dirty or that their experience shouldnāt exist. I was sexually abused as a child, and some of my involuntary regression has been connected to that. Iām not saying that for sympathy or to go into the details of my trauma, but because it has given me personal experience of how complicated these things can be. Sexuality being present alongside regression does not automatically make something consensual ageplay. In some of my experiences I wasnāt choosing what was happening and wasnāt in a position to consent. My experiences of voluntary regression as an adult can be very different. There are times when I voluntarily regress and still retain my adult awareness, agency and capacity to consent to sexual things. There are also times when I regress and would not have that capacity, and those situations are therefore not appropriate for sexual activity. And there are other times when Iām not regressing at all and Iām deliberately engaging in ageplay. For me, capacity isnāt determined simply by whether somebody uses the word āregressedā. It matters whether the actual adult, in that particular state and at that particular time, understands what is happening, can freely choose, communicate their wishes and withdraw consent. If those things arenāt present, sexual consent isnāt present. Thatās one of the reasons I think we need to be careful with absolutes. People are complicated. Two experiences can be meaningfully different without being mutually exclusive. Someone can experience age regression and engage in ageplay. Someone can have completely non-sexual ageplay. Someone can have both sexual and non-sexual little space. Someoneās experience of regression can vary. None of that requires us to erase the distinction between regression and ageplay. Ultimately, I think terminology is supposed to help us communicate our experiences, not become a test people have to pass before theyāre considered ārealā. I donāt think youāre fake because your understanding or experience differs from mine, and I wouldnāt want you to feel that way. I just hope we can extend that same grace to other people. Weāre all learning, and I think people are much more likely to learn when we approach each other with curiosity and respect rather than shame.
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I love pacis š¤ like @Lil Jessika said little for big is good, I've also got a few from rearz, the DDLG playground has a big-ish selection though they are quite expensive. You can also find some adult pacis on Amazon and Etsy has some good options.
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Hi! Iām Snuggles, and Iām here š«£ nervous like always, but also hopeful, looking for something real. Iām not after a fantasy, and Iām in no way perfect (nor do I expect that from anyone else). Iām after a connection thatās rooted in trust, care, fun, and depth. Due to this I would want to take it slow getting to know each other and start out as friends. Iām a little and a sub (maybe a tiny bit⦠like a lot bit of a brat š¤), and while they are big parts of me, they are in no way all of me. I want someone who can appreciate all of me. šš¼āāļø About me: General stuff: Iām autistic, with some other neurodivergent traits, and I have some mental health difficulties (though for the most part I manage these well). Iām loyal, honest, and curvy/plus size. I'm 23 and within England, East Midlands specifically. I'd preferably like to meet someone else within the UK. Also for transparency, eventually I'd like to settle down and have a family with someone, if that's a dealbreaker I completely get it. Though I'm always open to making friends, however, if you'd also want that one day and want to continue reading please do. š©š¼āš« Big me: Iām a reflective person, I love discussing human behaviour, psychology, and social issues. I have a masterās in education and work as a teacher, so Iām always up for discussing learning, inclusion, and society. Iām also pretty creative and dabble in poetry. When Iām big, Iām the type who gets things done. I try to be there for others, and Iām pretty independent, but I also long for softness, care, guidance, and being looked after, too. šøš¼ Little me: My little age tends to be around 2-6 though can vary depending on how I feel. I have a big heart and even bigger feelings that I wear right on my sleeve. I love colouring, cuddles, sippy cups, cute jammies and onesies, snuggles, stuffies, praise⦠have I mentioned cuddles? I love when a CG joins in for play and care time š„°. My little space can be soft and playful, but can also sometimes be NSFW. Iām complex, and sometimes I need extra care or reassurance. I really value CGs who donāt run from that. š¬ What I want in a dynamic: Iām looking for a 24/7 D/s dynamic that includes CG/l, but also other kink elements. Iām not 24/7 little, but I do want the D/s part of our dynamic to exist even when Iām in big space. I enjoy rules, rituals, structure, punishments, and rewards but these must be built on connection and consent, not just control for controlās sake. Iām not into performative D/s. I want real intimacy, honest communication, and a dynamic that evolves through trust and mutual effort. š What I bring to a dynamic: A relationship or dynamic isnāt just about what someone can bring me. I want to learn my partner just as much as I want them to learn me. Cuddles! Lots and lots of cuddles most importantly. I try to be a caring person and I love seeing people for themselves and that also means being there to help where I can. Im very affectionate and will give lots of snuggles and will invite you to join stuffy cuddles too! Iām loyal and love getting to know all the little things that make someone happy, supporting the things that matter to them, and lending a listening ear through both the happy moments and the harder ones. I also bring silliness, cuddles, teasing, kisses, deep conversations, and probably a fair amount of chaos. Finally I bring my trust and submission. I don't see those as things someone is entitled to because theyāre a Dom/CG, but as things I want to give to someone whoās earned them. Ultimately, I donāt just want someone who will build a safe place for me. I want us to build one for each other. š§ø What I hope to find in a caregiver: First and foremost - someone who actually enjoys being a CG. Not someone who just tolerates littles, or who only sees it through an NSFW lens. I want a CG who understands brats, enjoys praise (because Iām a tiny bit not needy⦠the rest of me is š¤), and likes giving structure and affection. I need someone whoās emotionally available and consistent, not perfect, but present and willing. Someone who can show up, communicate, guide, hold space, and also still laugh at silly things. š What I want in a partner: Someone who sees me. All of me. someone who can handle me when Iām a handful, enjoy me when Iām giggly, and remain present when I go quiet. I want someone who stays, who knows deep love takes work and deep care, and who can appreciate both my fire and softness. Iām not looking for a fairy tale, Iām looking to build something real. A shared world where we both feel safe, silly, happy, and seen.
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Hi Iām a little from the Uk. Ive been exploring CG/l and little space for a few years but new to this site. So hi š. Im quite shy at first but would love to make friends so feel free to message me.
