how to avoid getting attached to the little you are "babysitting"?

[eastcoastdd]

So I have been talking to a little, shes not too far and I get happy because I can be my daddy self and really care for her.. Due to some circumstances, we may never be official and I am okay with that because it is what it is... But we have plans to meet, watch movies, talk, cook, etc platonically.. I don't know if this is until she finds her Mr. Right, or if it will continue after. How do I avoid getting attached too much to her. It may be sfw with punishments if we meet, but its just, shes an amazing person.. I feel happy just caring for her and making sure she eats, sleeps well, or the little day to day things. I am looking for my forever little, someone to call my own, but its hard when my feelings are growing with her.thank you for any advice!

 

[dakota138]

I think the simplest question for if it is right for you is to ask yourself "if she found her Mr.Right tomorrow, would I still want to be involved? What if she found him in three months? Would I want to be involved then or would I rather stop before it's too late?"

 

These questions draw the line between your intentions and boundaries. She may be amazing. But if you are not Mr Right, and she isn't trying to stay with you, it sounds like you have no choice but to be completely no strings attached or end the relationship on the fact of not being able to separate feelings from the dynamic. Which is not a bad thing. Almost all care givers have this struggle. It doesn't mean you are wrong or a bad care giver, it just means you two might have different intentions or alignment on what the future should be. I'd have an honest conversation with yourself first, then have an honest conversation with her. If things work out, maybe you are Mr.Right and she didn't know it. If not, she deserves to know how you feel so that she isn't burdened with knowing she's holding you back. Take things from there, see how the dynamic can open up or close down. Either way, it is only fair to both of your hearts that you find someone you are both open to. Whether that is each other, or if you both find someone else. There's nothing wrong with keeping things friendly, if you both can manage to keep it that way.

 

Best of luck.