JakkTheArbitraryHeretic

It SHOULD bring people closer, but a lot of times it seems that eventually it pushes people away. I know that being too open is also something that pushes people away too, buuuut *shrugs* I've never been one to hide who I am, and I know someday that my integrity and being honest to a fault, will be refreshing for the right girl. But as for being vulnerable, I do believe that people have an aversion to true vulnerability, because it means they have to be willing to talk about difficult things, and sometimes, people just decide that the path of least resistance is better in the long run... (even though that usually just means the foundation of a relationship is built on weak supports.)

Okay, so, this is a lot, I know it's a lot, but it's all important I promise. These are my boundaries, my flaws, my strengths, and a presentation of who I am all at once. Some people...(who the hell am I kidding, MOST people,) will find it to be 'too much' or 'too intense', and honestly... I'm not sorry about that, I have never once 'hid behind a mask', it's just not something I can do. It's not something I'm even able to do. If I'm not being fully open, fully honest, and fully transparent, then I just don't actually open up... and that kinda defeats the purpose of an 'advert about myself'... so, here we are. My name is Jakk, well technically it's 'Chad' but that's a boring name, and I'll eventually have it legally changed... when I get around to it. I'm a specific kind of guy, looking for a specific kind of girl. I'm neurodivergent and I very much value communication and honesty, I'm a big fan of playing games, board games, card games, video games, etc... but what I absolutely will not tolerate is people, myself or others, playing games with the emotions and lives of other people. The people who play games with the lives and emotions of other people need to seriously find a real hobby. Here's a breakdown of what you can expect from me, and to an extent what I expect from my partner (I hold myself to a ridiculously high standard, I wouldn't feel it was fair to hold others to that standard as well.): - Communication. (I always want to chat, and when we're both comfortable, talking too. It can be about almost absolutely anything. -except politics, I've long since decided that politics is a game played by people who don't actually care about people, everything either side says is just to get votes, and the world doesn't get better despite the claims they make. And as I mentioned, I don't tolerate people playing with the lives and emotions of others.) - Honesty. (As mentioned it's one of my core values, my integrity is stronger than anyone I know. I do NOT lie, the ONLY exceptions to that are as follows: When I'm telling a joke, that I will make sure it's known that I'm making a joke. When I'm writing or telling a creative story, once again it will be clear and obvious that it's a story. When I'm playing games, especially the kind of games that require deception and bluffing. And when it's just something that I believe either mistakenly or otherwise, it's not so much a lie, it's more along the lines of it's either part of my personal beliefs OR it's something I've learned through experience is a certain way, I CAN be corrected on the latter, but the former is just part of my beliefs. -Such as that 'I'm immortal until I die, and you can't legally prove me wrong.' that one is about %20 Joke and %80 Belief... or is that the other way around? Honestly sometimes even I can't tell.-) - Patient. (I can be patient, I may seem like I'm in a rush sometimes, but that's only because I do not like wasting time -my time or other people's-, but when it comes to genuine connection, and waiting for someone to be ready for a date or anything else, I have no problem being patient, all I ask is that there's clear communication and it's not a habit. I'm 36, I've always strived to be patient with past partners, sometimes to my own detriment.) - Optimistic. (Even when life is dark and stormy, those silver linings are what keep hope in the world. I'm optimistic that the girl I'm looking for will read this, this entire wall of text and say: "You must have put a lot of thought into this.", because I absolutely did.) - Whimsical. (I used to say that I was "The good kind of crazy"... I'm pretty sure that's JUST whimsy. My outfit style can be seen as 'nerdy-eccentric'. I tell Dad jokes all the time, and make puns. I know, I'm insufferable, but I can't help it, I even have a pin that says "Subject to spontaneous outbursts of terrible puns", life is better when you're able to just find joy in the little things.) - Emotional support. (Even with my flaws, I do strive to be the kind of partner that feels like home. And I will always do my best to prioritize my partner's emotional, mental, and physical well-being. That's not to say I'll neglect my own well-being, though for a true partnership to work, both people should want to uplift the other, and in most cases, should always be on the same team.) - Pacifism. (The world is violent enough, I don't need to add to it. I hope my partner doesn't either... buuuut, just like how I have exceptions to this: (I am not a pacifist to food or pests), it's okay if my partner is the same, or is a bit feisty, I think that's cute. - Loyalty. (I do not fuck with non-monogamy of any kind, I've also been cheated on in the past, so I know how much that shit hurts. If you're with me then you're with me, and if I'm with you then I'm with you, it's really not that difficult. People are so quick to treat people as if they're disposable, but no, I don't put up with that kind of trash thinking.) - Commitment. (This goes along with my patience. A real relationship doesn't end when things are a bit difficult, and while there are SOME lines that once crossed are unable to be UN-crossed, most of those involve things that are detrimental to the kind of relationship I'm seeking anyway. And Commitment to me, when it comes to relationships, means forever. -If for some reason we're not a match in the long-run, fine, we can go our separate ways, but that just means she wasn't the one, and I will continue looking.-) - Insatiable. (When I do find my partner, I will love her, heart, mind, body, and soul, and I will want her in all the ways, all the time. This pairs with my emotional support, loyalty, and commitment as well though, I highly value consent and I am a soft dominant, as such I always want to make sure my partner is comfortable, and as a dominant I feel responsible for the care and comfort of my submissive partner, and that means not only is after-care a must, but also during-care, and before-care are as well... though, one could aruge that 'before-care' is just foreplay.) - Understanding. (We all have lived lives, we all have things that we're not proud of, and things that even to this day we struggle with. But the world is shallow enough, the world is cruel, and the world doesn't care... the kind of partnership I'm looking for, is above all of that needless drama, we'll be the light for each other in a world that has decided that "You must wear masks to be happy"... They've met with a terrible fate.) ----- Now, onto the other things that are of course important, and I won't pretend that they're not. The above list is just my core, and I'm looking for a core that matches mine. Doesn't have to match perfectly, and even when I do find her, if she truly is my partner, we can agree to disagree on many things... like for example, even though Pineapple absolutely doesn't belong on Pizza (Mostly because I don't like Pineapple) I'm not going to act like that's a deal-breaker... because that's stupid. We can each get a Pizza, zero problems to be had. 1: I have Autism, ADHD, and Multiple Sclerosis, I am also legally blind in my left eye (I think I can see like... maybe %25 from it, but most of it is blurry), and as such, in the place I live, I am very much unemployable. So I'm on SSI, and that means I'm on a limited income, but I do have my own place, and I do try to walk to make sure that I still get to use my legs. (And luckily where I live is walkable to MOST places in town, so that's good.) 2: I have a child from a previous relationship, my daughter is 16 and most of the time lives with her mother in another state, but comes out to visit me and her grandmother during the summers. We have a good relationship, and I've always been her favorite biological family member, so I'm clearly doing something right. 3: I can NOT have more children, due to some past trauma that I'm not comfortable getting into here, and also because it's bad form to talk about your exes with potential future partners, just know that I've had a vasectomy, and it was my choice, and while I am a good father, I know that I'm not able to be the kind of father that can afford raising multiple children. (Also, my own father did that, and I think he was pretty dumb *nods nods*, especially since he died when I was like 13. Not that important though either.) 4: I do NOT travel. Travel is expensive. Travel is stress. Travel is NOT for me. I prefer stability and comfort, and trust me, life can be very entertaining when you know how to live without the obsessions that a lot of people seem to have when it comes to Travel, Wealth, Fame, and in general trying to be what the media tells you, you should be. 5: I know attraction is important. I know chemistry is important. So to clarify, I'm a husky guy, have the belly of a Dad-bod, and I'm 6'1. I live in Washington (on Whidbey Island), I also have long hair, that I usually keep tied up in a pony-tail. When it comes to my partner, I'm not too picky, just be shorter than me (not difficult), I'm not into the shaved head look (looks even worse on me to be fair.), and also I'm usually attracted more to cuteness or soft beauty. -Also nerds are always super attractive to me.- (I've never been drawn to 'beauty standards', the kind of beauty that models have, or people that go for the 'hot' / 'sexy' look because to me, those terms are HIGHLY subjective.) Oh and as for body type, it's really all about how you carry yourself. Besides, if you're a bigger girl, then that's just more of you to love. ALRIGHT... I think this about covers everything that's important... forgive me if I missed anything, buuuuuut I'm sure I left enough open that things can actually be discussed during the getting to know each other phase. I'm sending this message everywhere, and if it's still up, then that means that I am still searching. Good luck to everyone out there, stay safe, stay happy, and for the love of all that matters... do not feed the catfish, they're an invasive species and should be avoided at all costs.

I am both a complete person, and an incomplete person. I have my personality, I have my strengths and weaknesses, I have my hobbies, I have my friends, and I have a deep understanding of who I am I even have my own place. But I am alone, even when in a group of people, I feel, isolated. Because there's one part of me, that I can not, and will not give to just anyone. I have so much love, affection, passion, intimacy, and support to give, but without the one girl who truly means the world to me, and to whom I truly mean the world to as well, I am left wanting in every emotional, mental and physical regard. To say I'm 'desperate' isn't completely accurate, because I don't just want anyone, I want 'her', the girl who will understand me, the girl who will love me and want me to love her, the girl who just wants to watch the world burn with me, while we eat snacks, and cuddle, and get a little frisky with each other. I want the girl who will genuinely want to commit to a more than lifelong monogamous relationship, where honesty, communication, patience, giggles, and just in general a feeling of wholeness is the primary driving force. I want us to play games together, I want us to watch anime, cartoons, and other shows together, I want us to cuddle and for me to be her 'Daddy' in every way, and her to be my sweet little girl. I haven't met you yet... But I need you. And I'll know it's you, because you will always need me as much as I need you. I'm here, in Oak Harbor, Washington. I may not be rich by any means, but I will take care of you to the absolute best of my ability, heart, mind, body and soul. Please be somewhat local, because my heart has been broken dozens of times from long distance relationships. (To be fair, local means at least in the continental United States, preferably Whidbey island, but in Washington state is good too as long as you'd be okay sleeping over) I am 6'1, roughly 300lbs but I'm kinda working on it, I've got autism and multiple sclerosis, and have a daughter from a previous relationship, she mostly lives with her mother in another state, and I've had a vasectomy so I can't have more kids. (Which means you and I can fully enjoy being deeeeeply intimate 😘) I'm extremely patient (though it might not always seem like it), and I'm honest to a fault. (The only exception to my honesty is in when I'm telling a joke or a story -though that's always clear before hand-, and things like bluffing and deception in games especially when the games almost require it. And of course I can be wrong about something, but that's less of me being dishonest and either me not knowing/understanding, OR it's something that I just personally believe, even if it's not something other people might believe. But aside from those few exceptions, I do not lie. I just don't see the point in it. Lying only ever causes problems. Even white lies can be harmful.) And to make sure you read this, please tell me what I promised I'd give you if you were my little. Thank you for reading this, and I hope I find the little who needs me as much as I need her 💜