Before I start, please be kind with any responses. This is a vulnerable post, and almost no one in my life knows about me what I am sharing here.
DDLD/CGL is an intricate need and pleasure dynamic, and I would never say my experience is standard in DDLG, but for my personal life, I think my LG needs and cravings spring from unmet childhood needs. I was in a very dysfunctional home, and my brain formed in a setting that never felt safe. I have what is called Complex PTSD, or CPTSD, also known as developmental PTSD or developmental trauma.
I don’t think this is anything to be ashamed of, and in fact makes the vulnerability and trust dynamic in a DDLG relationship very special and powerful. If trauma can be caused by close relationships, then it can also be healed in close relationships. (Supported by poly vagal theory and CPTSD healing research).
I think service-oriented Daddy’s are also being very vulnerable, because they are giving so freely. I think this gets lost behind the public perception of dominance.
Does anyone else feel similarly about your experience perhaps having roots in childhood experiences or trauma in any part of life? If no, do you have an idea where your DD or LG needs come from?
👙LG in NE (New England)
